


F is for friendship, not fuck!

by Veraverorum (your_Mother)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Mentions of Casual Sex, Multi, involuntar cockblock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 11:48:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3691140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_Mother/pseuds/Veraverorum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being friend with Bofur comes with a price. A very agonizing price.</p>
            </blockquote>





	F is for friendship, not fuck!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Blue_Sparkle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Sparkle/gifts).



> Sparkle prompted me with Bofur trying to be a good best friend and accidentally cockblocking Nori all day every day

The bed was a warm cocoon around him and Nori did not feel like officially waking up right away. He could laze around a bit more. And take care of the morning wood that was springing up from his loins, reminder of a really pleasant dream he was having. That sounded like a wonderful plan, and with his eyes still close against the sunlight seeping in under the shutters, Nori took himself in hand.  
  
He was reviewing that night's dream with a moan ready to leave his lips when the door slammed against the wall as Bofur entered his room, chatting at the speed of a warg on full charge and sitting on the covers of the bed. Right next to where Nori's hand was busy working.  
  
Nori stopped immediately, the moan turning into a groan to greet Bofur.  
  
“Oh come on old chap, is that the way to welcome your best friend here to make your morning better?” Bofur's voice was too lively for Nori's taste, and his eyes would have rolled back if only they weren't already in that position behind his closed eyelids.  
  
After the abrupt wake up call, Bofur had shut his mouth enough for Nori to calm down – not that he needed it.. being interrupted in that manner was the easiest way to lose an erection – and get ready to face the world.  
  
The pair took the market route to reach their destination. Between sellers and occasional visitors not from the city, there was always somebody new, and many pretty faces among them.  
  
Nori had spotted a lass with an attractive dark beard at the weapons stall. She was inspecting a shiny dagger, a really nice type. Nori would have liked to have a tumble with her that night, just to have some non commitmental fun if she agreed to it.  
  
Seducing her would have been an easy game, if only Nori were alone. Next to him Bofur kept on chatting about titbits of their next job right next to him, giving Nori an unmutable background sound.  
  
Putting his hands on Bofur’s arms, Nori bodily moved him aside “Listen here Bof. Just try to stay quiet and out of the picture for a moment..”  
  
As his friends nodded in agreement, Nori took his position: he leaned against a stall across from the lass and, taking out his best knife from the sheath under his jacket, he picked at his nails generously smiling in the direction of the dwarrowdam.  
  
The eyes of the lass opened wide in pleasure at the reckoning of the unmistakable signals the stranger was throwing at her. She looked favourable to some impromptu tumbling, but suddenly her brows furrowed in refusal enough for Nori’s loins to feel a seeping cold as she turned away from him.  
  
He was dumbfounded. It was not a go-by-his-book situation to be rejected so quickly and there could be just one reason for that.  
  
Nori turned his head around enough to spot Bofur at his back cleaning his front teeth with the tip of one of his braids.  
  
A long sigh escaped Nori “ok I do understand. Let’s go”  
  
Bofur trailed behind Nori, airily smiling.  
  
They arrived at the previously established meeting point with not too much lateness - it had nothing to do with Nori straightening his hairdo every time there was a reflecting surface. Bofur had done a good job in taking his arm and pulling him away even from the shiny eyes of a pretty lass or lad, with Nori's infinite displeasure.  
  
But as soon as they reached the appointed location they both become the most professional.. well, crooks on the market. The black market. Even if their employer looked pissed off at first, they got down to discussing the job immediately.  
  
Along the chat the dwarf changed his manner in more pleasant ones and Nori thought it would not have been a chore for him to ride their employer. Oh Mahal, he sure needed to get rid of all that pent up energy in some way. As soon as the mission was over Nori had the intention to propose him some Nori flavoured fun.  
  
True to himself, later at job completed when they were getting over with the payment, Nori fluttered his eyelashes at him and played with one of his firy locks while biting his lower lip. The dwarf seemed interested in the show Nori was putting up for him yet.. Bofur.  
  
When he picked up Nori's signs he worried in his typical Bofury way. Excusing them from their done-with employer, he pulled his friend to a secluded place, touching his forehead and asking every kind of questions to make sure Nori was well and not developing a fever or any other kind of illness. Nori was just dejected his plans for carnal satisfaction had been thwarted once more. By Bofur.  
  
Reassuring him he was not suddenly falling sick, Nori linked their arms and almost bodily pulled the always blabbering Bofur with him, walking away. Due to Bofur's embellishments regarding the not-particularly impressive job they had just carried out to completion, Nori's sighs turned soon into muffled chuckles under his beard, and the two dwarrows slowly made their way to their favourite tavern.  
  
As soon as they sat down on the benches, a crowd of other crooks surrounded them. They didn't have bad intentions though: it was the group of dishonest, yet pleasant, friends that Nori and Bofur frequented. It was their routine to meet up at the inn in their free time, even better if just after a hit, and entertain the others with tales of their deeds. Bofur was incredibly good at that. He started telling the revised and improved version of their latest job and soon the crowd was enraptured by his words, cheering and nodding in approval at some daredevil move that might have actually happened, might not.  
  
But Nori was enraptured my something else, or better someone else.  
  
He was a tall dwarf. Really tall. A mountain in dwarf-form, with broad shoulders that would be perfect to grip while riding him. Nori had noticed him other times too; he was always alone at the counter, alert with his sharpened axes yet knocking back a tankard after another. The dwarf knew how to relax and Nori would have gladly volunteered to help him reach a total state of bliss.  
  
Twirling a small braid of his beard around a finger, Nori assumed his practised seductive tactics: he fixed his eyes on the back of the dwarf's head, admiring each line of ink and each bump etched in it, until he turned around feeling observed. Spotting Nori in the loud crowd, the dwarf took in the ginger's appearance and evidently pleased nodded back at him, gulping down some more ale.  
  
Nori was biting his lip already feeling the potentially massive dick of the dwarf pleasantly splitting him in two and his strong hands holding his hips till they bruised, when Bofur intervened, voice rough from alcohol and pub songs “oh Nori! You know that dude you're making sweet eyes to?”  
  
If Nori had some bit of shame in himself he would have blushed, but given that he was eyefucking with said dwarf shame did not matter. Bofur kept going, loud as ever “Thurk just told me he's a royal guard! Imagine he knew we just stolen a big ass emerald from the royal family!”  
  
While Bofur kept laughing out of touch with too much ale in his body, Nori stopped feeling the possibility of a dick spearing him and started fearing something else that might pierce him just as fiercely later that night instead. The suddenly darkened expression of the dwarf confirmed that no sweet sex would happen any time soon, indeed.  
  
Quickly taking his friend's hand in his own and tugging Bofur behind him, Nori dashed out of the tavern's door. The dwarf-mountain was hot on their trails, uselessly yelling at them to surrender.  
  
Nori would have loved to be chased by that guard, but in another situation. And that marked another day where he had only Bofur to thank for spending another lonely night by himself.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Let me know what you think about this :)


End file.
